A very strange thought occurred to me - is it possible to prove that there is no such thing as an equal relationship. So I kept wondering and came up with this:
The term relationship means 1. "The condition or fact of being related; connection or association." 2. "A romantic or sexual involvement." (//dictionionary.com//)
The first relationship we form as a human being is that with our mother. A mother protects and safeguards her child. We rely on our mother for survival in the initial stage of our lifecycle. Do you honestly think that relationship is equal? Ever?
Second definition.. Romantic or sexual involvement. Do you remember the first time you had a crush on somebody... How long did it take for you to tell that person that you like them? Chances are you didn't have the nerve to do it. (if you did - good for you.) You probably waited for a sign that it was safe to go tell the object of your affection how you felt without getting hurt. The ability to reject you gave the other person power over you, even if it was inadvertent and they weren't aware of it. Again the relationship can not be equal if either side has an initial advantage.
Our most basic relationships and first encounters with romance are imbalanced. Is there the possibility that the idea of relationships being skewed, is entrenched in our sub conscience and therefore no matter how hard we try we never really manage to find a balance in our relationships?
I'm intrigued by relationships. Power in relationships is going to be my next pre-occupation.
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3 comments:
First - I agree to the inherent imbalance, and no I don't think its subconcious, I believe its transparent to the parties involved - esp. when push comes to shove.
Second - Its not always easy to tell who has the power in 'relationships' - the adult/sexual/romantic/cookie-cutter-couple kind. I know plenty of "alpha-males" who wear the pants in public with their trophy significant-other, and have no 'real' power. Yes, its still imbalanced, but its not easy to tell.
Complicated creatures we are. Alas, there's a penis to uncomplicate things. Only kidding.
A close friend's relationship was ending, and as we talked it over, he said something that certainly made me rethink things. He said that in any relationship which involves love, one individual is driven by the fear of loss. It drives him/her to go the extra mile, jump the last hurdle, in short, anything to hang on. The concept of love is inexhorably linked to the fear of loss.
Given his state at the time, I didn't give it much credence. However, it did make me realise that true or false, this is the reality for a lot of people. As time passed, I could see this was indeed the case for the majority of 'couples'. Actions dictated by fear.
For that matter, it's not restricted to sexual/romantic relationships.... close personal friendships usually involve one far more dedicated partner.
Arun - I agree with you.
Trust a man to take a general gender free comment and turn into specifically something about himself or his kind. :)
Rohan - I used a limited defintion on purpose otherwise this post would have been endless.
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