Games.. Or just egos?

Men vs Women

The games people play.

Its starts as banter and continues till one of the 2 cannot keep up and then it becomes playing. When does flirting/baiting become playing games?

* * What is playing games?

* * Why play games?

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At some point or the other we, women, have all heard it: "dont' play games with me" or "I hate women who play games".

Guess what men play "games " just as much as women do. It's human nature.

Do what you want, say what you want... it all starts as a game. The flirting, the conversations .. irrespective if

it is face to face, over the phone or in any other form, it is all about:

"Do I want to deal with you on a more frequent basis"

"Is there a point in getting to know you better"

None of it is intentional or planned... ask anybody how they flirt.. you'll get a bunch of answers but not one giving you a game plan which goes any further than the ice breaker (read blatant & completely unoriginal pick up line :>)

Conversation about random things... opinions about unrelated topics... it is about tryin to build common ground where the one and only question getting answered is

"Are you smart enough for me to be around you".

"Are you worthy of my time? "

The need to answer this question comes after 'lets get coffee' but before 'lets go watch a movie'. By the time movie scenario rolls around you are already comfortable being around each other in silence. By then its too late. You can't do a "I was just flirting" turnarond... miniscule strings have begun to from. All the talk MUST come before you get comfortable.

Let me run you through this step by step...

• It starts with a general "my name is so and so....blah blah"
  Basically covers likes and dislikes.. establishes common ground other that freinds, family and work.
  
• If you create enough common ground, it moves onto rhetorical questions based on 'principles'. At this phase conversation will include inuuendos to check for ability to see if you 'get' it.
  
  It is about seeing if both parties have enough intelligence to sensibly hold an argument and/orback their stand about a sensitive/tricky/multilayered topic without backing down or resorting to evasive logic show lack of logic.
  
• At this point there has been enough talk to figure out if conversations can get more "forward" or if the situation requires a "alright buddy - you didn't fit the bill - nice talkin' to ya... peace!" as an extremely tactful (NOT!) friend of mine put it.

By the way, while all this is happening you are completely unaware . It is unintentional. Sort of just happens.

There is no set flow to how it goes, but does applies, EQUALLY, to men and women.

The reason, I think, we indulge in all Stage 1 flirting and "word-play" is because we d0n't want to get hurt.. or nurse damaged egos, either our own or somebody elses'.

Playing level 1 of the game (flirting, incase you were wondering...) over and over again, in all its variations and combinations and getting as creative as we can about making it extremely hard, is a hella lot easier that actually moving to the next level.... where the dreaded strings might come into play and there is definitely no way you can get out of it with, simply, a "no harm, no foul - lets be friends" conversation.

Next time you start to flirt - watch how it goes. And don't let knowing what you know ruin the fun. At the end of the day we ALL play games because they are FUN and make us feel GOOD about ourselves. :)

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The author of this post has an honorary PhD in Relationship Gaming, awarded by the University of the Jaded and Observant. Material is copyrighted under the law of the State of Egoistic. All disputes will come under the Jurisdication of the courts of "I don't care what you think"