It is one of those days where i have achieved relatively extreme drunkness.....
I'm not quite falling apart but yeah keeping to together is no less of ann effort...
Every single cell in my body is full of energy yet I'm having a hard time standing straight as a ramrod which you'd think that amount of energy would get you to do....
Swaying is a natural and bumping into things even more so.
Even though the eyes are fluttering shut I know what is happening behind the back of my head... every iota of me is on attention. There is one little bit of my brain that is so extremely sober it is superhuman how it registers the smallest change, just so that I can keep myself out of harms way.
I'm the kind of person that NEVER loses control yet I'm happy in the knowledge that it is taking all my conscious effort to form a coherent thought.
I'm drunk and I love it.
I've reached a level of intoxication that leaves me aware of the fact that I'm drunk but yet not drunk enough to loose all sense of who I am. It allows for all the control to melt away and yet still not be vunerable.
I know I'm going to regret having written this tommorow, but for once it will be honest, un-edited and true. And hopefully grammatially correct.
It is things like this that give away the fact that I am a quintesserially (even this word) a control freak. sometimes i think, thanks to all the control i've learnt to exercise on myself I've become a controlling bitch.....
I refuse to acknowledge weakness ... least of all in myself. Is it a wonder that sometimes I can be a bitch?!
I'm not going read and edit this.... for y'all that see it before I hit delete tomm. you have seen a side of me that is hard to come by, a side I refuse to show myself in fear of loosing my sanity/ Enjoy. for this is a rare sight...... even for myself.
The weakest link is only as weak as you alllow it to be.
7 comments:
feels good to let go doesnt it? maybe a little lax once in a while is good for us all..just like i know a little control once in a while is good for the rest..let this post to remind you of it...
Hmmm.. control freak.. that's probably why I don't drink either! Would hate to lose control over life, myself and esp my car!
Sometimes, it's an utter blast to let go of everything. Make a complete ass of yourself, it's really refreshing - and people who mind aren't worth bothering about anyway, and people who don't, wont.
But then if it's a personal thing - hmm. But I guess you wouldn't want to be any other way, yes?
maya you're a control freak??? reeeeeeely? now who would thought that!!
contorl is an illuison you infantile egomaniac... let it go...
Anahat - I learnt both concepts, control & being a egomaniac, from you... Take it as a compliment to your teaching that I do it well.
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
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